Blogtember Continues

Today's prompt is to explain how social media has changed me. I have decided to discuss this in terms of how it changed me pro/con style!

Positive Ways Social Media Has Changed Me:

1. It has given me an opportunity to express myself through writing to a larger audience besides my daily journal writing. It has done so for many others as well. As a result, not only do I get to write, but I get to read other writings and that has made me a better writer. 

2. It has given me more access to more information regarding current events. Information is accessible in an instant. Not only has social media made current events more accessible, but it has also given me a passion for current events and what is going on in our world. 

3. It has spurred my creativity.

4. It helps me connect with others I may not get to see on a daily basis. 

5. It makes me appear cooler than I really am.

Negative Ways Social Media Has Changed Me:

1. While it has given me an opportunity to express myself through writing, let's be honest, sometimes not writing about my deepest, darkest secrets in a public forum is the best idea. Those are the days journals are good. Social media has forced me to find the balance and made me more cognisant of how, when, where, why, and what to communicate. 

2. Instant information through social media has almost become a craze. It is as if I can't go without 5 minutes without looking at my phone, checking Facebook, twitter, or some other form of social media.  Sometimes the Husband asks me to put the phone away just long enough to enjoy dinner. I'm bad.

3. I waste more time. Precious time. On somewhat meaningless things. I get less things done. Somewhat important things.

4. While it helps keep me connected to people, sometimes I find myself stalking people that I haven't seen in years or people that I don't even know. Social media has a great way of keeping the world connected, but through the connection, I can click, click, click, and next thing I know I am reading profiles, blogs, twitter accounts, etc. of people I have never.even.met. And then I feel like I know a lot about people that I've never.even.met. And then I feel like I am friends with that person and we have never.even.met. I'm okay with making new friends, but perhaps meeting new friends the standard way (aka: in person or through introduction) is not a bad idea. And less stalkerish.

5. It has sometimes given me an inferiority complex that I am not as cool as everyone else, that my life is not quite as together as everyone else's life, and that perhaps my life stinks. Keeping up with the Jones's has risen to a whole new level when people can blast pictures and minute-by-minute updates on how awesome their life is. Sometimes that is hard to keep up with.

So that is how social media has changed me. Some ways it has changed me for the better and some ways it has changed me for the worse. Like all good things, social media must be taken in moderation. So here is to letting social media be a force for good writing, creativity, and keeping connected to friends and world events, while making sure to look at my technology a little less, get a little more work done, be more happy with who I am and stop comparing myself to others, and spend a little more time developing meaningful in-person relationships, uninterrupted by social media. 

Until next time, be blessed. 

Online Shopping???

Day 7: Share links to a few of your favorite online shops. 

To be honest, I saw this prompt and thought to myself: "I do not have a single online shopping link to contribute." And that is mostly true. I rarely shop online for three reasons: 

1) I am a total girl, and I like to shop in person at the stores. Some call it retail therapy and others call is relaxing. I call it both. I don't do much shopping anymore now that I am a married girl on a budget, but I love.to.shop. And when I shop, I like to be out and about doing it. Shopping is all about the experience for me! Feeling the clothes, smelling the scents, and catching the deals. Live and in action! 

2) When I am buying clothes, I usually have to try them on. I am tall and lanky. As a result, I usually have a hard time finding clothes that fit well. So, with that in mind, I usually go to the stores to buy clothes to make sure they fit. I also find that things sometimes look different online than they do in stores, so I like to ensure I like the color, texture, and appearance of a particular item before I buy it.  It also prevents returns that involve shipping. Shopping already costs money, but then to pay shipping on top of that? And then pay shipping again if it doesn't fit or I don't like it the item? No bueno. 

3) If I shop online, I am more likely to click, shop, pay, and spend money I don't have. With that in mind, I try to save up, plan ahead, shop with a purpose, and stay away from the online shops. It's just too dangerous for this lover of shopping. 

With that in mind, there are a few sites I visit online. I rarely buy online, but sometimes if I need a pick-me up and I can't get out to shop around, I will browse a few of my favorite stores online. 

Anthropologie: I know this is not an online store, but since I rarely make it to the actual store, I do a lot of online browsing on Anthro's website. Hand's down this is my all-time favorite store. When I have a bad day, a trip to this store sets my day right again. The entire environment is relaxing. The decor, the clothes, the smell, and the music. When I can't get there in person, I visit the site to see what's on sale (and to see if I can find an excuse to make a trip to my favorite store). You can shop it here.

May Designs: I LOVE all things writing. And stationary, journals, and calendars are a few of my favorite things! So, this is the perfect site! One of my college roommates introduced me to this site about a year ago, and I have fallen in love with it. They have great patterns, colors, and the option to personalize your items too! And it is a great site for affordable gifts! Every now and then, they have a Groupon so keep an eye out! You can shop here. 

Kate Spade: Confession: I.love.katespade. I have my husband to blame for this. He introduced me to Kate Spade and, in fact, bought me my first Kate Spade purse. And of course, I fell in love with the style. Very "Jackie O." But with our frugal budget, I cannot afford Kate Spade, especially in stores. So, I will occasionally visit their online store during their surprise sales: 75% off sale plus 20% off.  Because who doesn't love a Kate Spade? And who doesn't love a Kate Spade on sale? I do. And during their surprise sale, the prices are sometimes better than the outlet prices! Can't get much better than that! Be sure to sign up with your email to receive special sales notifications. You can shop here. And to top it off, they have a surprise sale going on now. Check it out! 

So, those are the three stores I frequent most online when I want to treat myself. Remember: A happy shopper is a wise shopper! Happy Shopping!!!!!! 

Very, Very, Very Afraid.....

Today's prompt is to write about a time that I was very afraid. Anyone that knows me, knows that I am scared of birds. Scratch that. I am terrified, petrified, scared out of my pants afraid of birds. It started when I was a child, and while I am working on knocking it, those beady eyes, pointy beaks, sharp claws, disease carrying feathers, and the bird's ability to fly faster than I can run have prohibited me from overcoming this fear. Some tell me its irrational and that I should seek help. I respond by asking what their greatest fear is. I then tell them I will take that fear, place them within that fear, and then see how they like it......

So yes, I still freak out when birds fly in my direction are anywhere within my proximity. And no, there were no flying doves at our wedding.....Here goes my story.....

Setting: Florence and Venice Italy Age: 12 years old. Circumstances: The birds were everywhere. In fact, the bird lady from Mary Poppins was there feeding them-thousands of them. She was covered in birds. My.worst.nightmare. Problem: You could not walk to our destination without going through the bird madness. If we had a picture this would be a good depiction:

{via}

And then there was the time that I was chased down the beach by an entire flock of these.viscious.creatures. One word:terrifying.

  

{via}

So that is the last time I remember being really afraid: the thought of a flock of birds pecking my eyes out. Or giving me bird disease. Or carrying me off to who knows where. So there's that.  

Day 2: For 3 Months I Would...

Day 2: If you could take three months off from your current life and do anything in the world, what would you do?

If I could take off and do anything for three months, I would probably take off and go back to Guatemala to spend some time with these adorable faces:

 The scenery is not too shabby either

You can read about it here, here, here, and here.

Where I Come From

There is something called Blogtember (aka: Blog every day in September). It happened in May too and I did not partake, mostly because I was afraid to write something everyday-my blog entries usually take quite a bit of time with all the editing, writing, re-writing, and getting those creative juices flowing at just the right time with just the right topic. However, this time, I think I am up for the challenge. I need to expand my horizons and get my creative juices flowing again. So, while I may not blog everyday, I am going to try to be more consistent. So here it goes....

Day 1: Where I Come From

I come from small town Granbury, TX. It is a little lake town southwest of Fort Worth. Fort Worth was the big city to us Granburyites. It is a beautiful little town where the biggest things that happened while I was there was: Wal-Mart came to town, the one-screen theater upgraded to a six-screen theater, and the yearly 4th of July parade and fireworks show was always a hit. Other than that, not much was going on. It was there that I learned how to drive. Experienced the death of a close friend for the first time at a young age. Learned who I wanted to be and who I didn't want to be. Fell in love with reading and writing and leadership. When I was living it, I was ready to shake that small town and move on to bigger and better things. Bigger towns. I was going to make something of myself. And I (sorta) have. However, with a college degree, a law degree, and a career later, I find myself longing for that place and for the people in it. I lived in that small town for 20 years, until the time I went off to college to "find myself." What I didn't realize is that I was already found. The experience of living in the same place seeing the same people and same places left an impression of familiarity upon me I have grown to appreciate. The smallness of where I came from let me be who I really am, with few inhibitions. It was my first real sense of community, people knowing me from the ground up, inside out, all my life, and still loving me. And I want that for my kids. The people there loved me as if I were their own, they were my biggest fans, and we were a family. It was there that I fell in love for the first time for a long time, the kind of love that takes years to recover from. But it taught me about love, how to love and I am better because of it. Yes, where I come from shaped me into the person that I am today. And for that, Granbury and the people inside that little town, will always hold a special place in my heart. 

I also come from a long line of big families full of traditions. Traditions of family vacations and LRC and Chinese Christmas and being together and breaking bread together. I come from a line of families that pray together and stay together. My grandparents on both sides of my family have been married for over fifty years and have set the path of Godly examples of both marriage and the Christian faith. I feel blessed to have grown up with such close relationships with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We have so much fun together and we make memories together and I like memories. I look forward to more. I come from a line of laughter and joy and that is good for the soul.

I also come from a family of five. A preacher father and a hard-working mother (who makes the best cookies in the universe), who also set a Godly example of a marriage going on 32 years. The oldest of three girls. Three sisters who also married Godly men who love and cherish them and now we are a family of 8. You can imagine three new men added to the bunch in two years has been quite a shock to the system, but also a fun adventure. Trips to the beach are no longer sitting by the sidelines reading a book-we gotta get up and move for these active men! Yes, I come from the best family a girl could ever ask for. We are not perfect, but we do our best to love and cherish each other, support each other even when we may disagree, and see past our differences to make it one of the happiest places on earth. Yes, I love seeing my family and spending time with them. It is refreshing and I am grateful to come from such a great line of loving, selfless, funny, caring, compassionate, hard-working, and humble family.

Most recently, I come from a family of two. I moved to the East coast, met a man in torts class, fell in love in study group, and said "I do" two years later. He is my Mr. Darcy and I am his Elizabeth Bennett. We just celebrated two years of marriage and moved to Fort Worth, TX. There are days when we feel far from "happily ever after." It is sometimes a daily struggle to constantly look yourself in the mirror-seeing a reflection of what you do not want to be in the other person's eyes; but it is also a beautiful time of growth, deepening our love, and fixing our eyes on the Author and Perfecter of our Faith. We know we are far from perfect, but we try to love and cherish each other, support each other even when we may disagree, and see past our differences to make it one of the happiest places on earth. I am so glad to be married to my Mr. Darcy and there is no other place on the face of the planet I would rather be than walking life with him. 

So there ya have it. Small town girl, from a family of five, married to Mr. Darcy. Each place and person has shaped me into who I am today, and for that, I am eternally grateful. 

Until next time be blessed.......

Life in a Box...

A month ago today, we loaded up the U-haul and headed out of town...again. This time it was only three hours north instead of twenty-four, but it was not much easier to say the least. This past year Scott and I have moved four times. While I have gotten the packing and unpacking down to a science, it does not make the actual move any less difficult.

The unfamiliar is something I am not always good with. Yes, I enjoy adventure. I enjoy traveling-seeing new places and meeting new people. However, I always enjoy it when I can come back home and stay for a while. However, the past year, I have found myself going more than staying. I suppose God knows what He is doing, but it would be nice to buy a house, settle down in one location, and then do some traveling.

You see-I have felt as if I have lived out of a box the past 8 years of my life. I packed up my car and moved into a dorm at Baylor University. Then I packed and moved to Virginia for law school. Then I packed up and moved back to Texas, this time with a husband. And now, we packed up and headed north on I-35 to a little town I like to call Fort Worth.

There is a pattern in moving-each time. You go through your stuff, pack it in boxes and put it on a U-haul trailer. (In my experience, the U-haul gets bigger every time despite how much stuff I throw away.) The pattern continues: once the U-haul is packed, you say your goodbyes, cry your tears, and set out on your adventure. Then there are the relationships you have to leave behind. For me, it is never easy to leave my family behind, no matter how far or short the distance.......

Growing up in a very tight knit family, you can imagine my dismay when I went to college-I was excited for the new adventure, but nervous and sad about leaving my mom, dad, and sisters behind. So, my senior year of high school, I began to pray for a few girlfriends to help make that transition better. What I got was was three...or six fold. When I graduated from Baylor, I had to leave my posse. These girls were my Waco family for four years-we did everything together during our time at Baylor, including living in a house together. When we graduated, we all had a period of grieving when we did not see each other all day, everyday.

When I arrived in Virginia, I was surprised to find such great friends in such a short amount of time. It took less than 6 weeks for me to feel like my friends were not just friends, but family. While they did not replace my friends and family back in Texas, they showed me what true community is. They are all beautiful souls, whom we loved seeing every day, enjoyed breaking bread together, and life of a law student with. So, you can imagine again, when the move from Virginia to Texas happened, there was excitement, but also a sense of sadness of leaving what we like to call our "law school family" behind. However, God was faithful. When we arrived in the Austin area, we started going to First Baptist Church Georgetown. About the time we started attending FBCGT, the young married class started growing. It went from 4 couples to about 16 couples in a span of about 6 months. While these people did not replace our law school family, this new group brought the community we had been longing for-true community, deep community, life-giving community. It took a little longer to feel at home in Georgetown than it did in Virginia, but once we felt at home-we felt at home. So, you can imagine my dismay when Scott came to me a few months ago and said that there was a chance we would have to move to Fort Worth for his job. Leave family again? Leave community that gives life again? Pack up this house and all our stuff again? Start the pattern of moving and re-adjusting again? And I don't even want to think about the process of finding a new church and new community....

But pack up we did. Last month, we packed up, left our relationships behind, and moved to Fort Worth, Texas for my husband to accept a new job-same boss, new duties. I am proud of my husband. He is good at what he does, and I am excited to see where God takes him (and us). But I am beginning to think that this moving around is something that God is using to mold me, to shape our marriage, and perhaps, to teach me something. Perhaps he is teaching me to be all in where you are at and not to be looking for the next move or the next best thing. I tend to live a life where the grass is always greener. Then once I get to the "greener grass," I realize how good I had it back on the other side. So, perhaps this is a lesson in contentment. Perhaps it is a lesson that "home is where the heart is." Scott told me that we both need to start saying wherever we are is home-wherever we are, that is our home. We are now a family. Perhaps God is getting us used to a life of moving a lot and it is a lesson on how to move. Or perhaps we are enduring this time of apartment-hopping so that when (if) we actually buy a house and settle down, we are more grateful for our place to call home. Whatever the lesson, I have decided to sit back and enjoy the ride. The ride is not easy and some days, moving a lot can create a lonely ride with few friends. But with each other and the world at our fingertips, I think we are going to be okay.

So, the patterns of living life in a box continues. Maybe one day it will get easier, but for now, I guess I will sit back and enjoy the ride. And unpack a few boxes and try to get as settled as possible while I am at it. Hello Fort Worth, TX. Maybe this time we will stay a while...

Until next time be blessed.....

Musings from a Neo-Recluse

The past months have been a bit daunting for me, to say the least. I got back late last night from another trip for work. I love my job: I work from home and get to travel occassionally. Each time I pack my suitcase, board a plane, and head to my work destination, I get a bit nervous for some reason. The fact that flying is no easy task these days-the airports are busy, security is intense, furloughs are thriving, and the passengers and airline employees seem to have all gotten crankier. What happened to free peanuts and pretzels by the way? I think bringing those back would add a little more joy to the flying process. I also think the nature of my work has some to do with the nervousness-I work in a job that deals with some pretty heavy topics. But I think that the larger part of my recent anxiety is from the uncertainty in this world....

The day of the Boston bombings, I was in Charlotte, NC for work. When I got word that there had been bombings in Boston, I immediately felt the same way I did the morning I learned about 9/11. Except this day was different: I was far away from home and loved ones-not in the comfort of my small town with my family. For some odd reason, all I could think about was how I was going to have to get on an airplane and fly home amidst all the terrorist activity. To say I was a nervous wreck is an understatement. I was around older and wiser co-workers when I found out the news, so I was a calm, cool, and collected nervous wreck on the outside-but on the inside, I was freaking out. Basically, I just knew I was going to die on the plane ride home......

I am glad to say, I made it home safe and sound that week, despite my anxiety ridden airport and plane experience. Only to come home to find that another explosion hit West, TX. Not long after that, the tornadoes tore apart Moore, OK. For some reason, this set me into a deep, deep anxiety ridden depression that I fear I am still sitting in as I write today. See? Even that sentence is anxiety-ladden (I'll let you figure it out...). Remember my Euchristeo-my one word? Yeah, that suddenly all went out the window for some reason.

Every time I check the news, something else has gone wrong: Politics. Scandals. Spying. Shootings. Bombings. Murders. Cancer. Death. Healthcare. Economy. Filibusters. Blah, Blah, Blah. It seems as if all of life has gone wrong. In a nutshell, the reality that life is unpredictable has been ever present, glaring me straight in the face. For some odd reason, it has started causing anxiety. Not the kind of anxiety that you brush off after you see a police officer follow behind you, only to find him turn on his lights to pull over the car beside you. (Although that freaks me out every. single. time.) Not even the kind of anxiety that makes me want to take an ostrich-like stance, put my head in the sand, and not even look at the news or what is going on around me (although that is sounding like a better idea by the minute). Those kinds of anxiety seem manageable. The kind of anxiety I am talking about is the kind that has caused me to want to stay home and become a recluse. The kind that makes me want to shut the door and not answer it when the door bell rings. The gut wrenching, knot in stomach kind of anxiety. The "God is definitely not in control if all this evil happening, and I am definitely not in control with all that is going on, so I am just going to sit here" kind of anxiety. Then the thought that there might be a shooting in my apartment community as it happened in Illinois and Washington slaps me in the face, and I don't even feel safe at home. Basically, I have become a mess. I won't even talk about the sleep I have lost because every sound is probably a murderer. Literally. It's that bad.

Then enters Life Group on Sunday Morning. We are doing a study on Genesis at our church. Sunday was the story of Noah. I have heard the story of Noah a thousand times and quite frankly did not expect this Sunday's lesson to be any different. I sat there, mostly in a depressed stupor from the anxiety that is my life (a bit dramatic, eh?). Luckily I had begged the Husband to stop off at Starbucks, to which he obliged (probably because he was willing to do anything to see a smile on my face). So, I sat there drinking my Starbucks in my anxiety laden stupor not really paying much attention to what was being said. I was in my own little depressed world. Then it hit me right there in Genesis 6:5-7.

"The Lord saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only wicked all the time. The Lord was grieved that he had made man on the earth and his heart was filled with pain. So the Lord said, 'I will wipe mankind, whom I have created, from the face of the earth--for I am grieved that I have made them.'"

It was interesting because the Husband and I were just having this conversation the night before. Really, I was ranting and raving to the Husband who works in politics about how I did not want to hear any more about how we are going to hit a time worse than the great depression in a few years and all go broke (unless we prepare and buy gold, of course), or how depraved America is, or how we are all going to hell, or that perhaps right now as we speak we are living in the end times?!?!?!?!?! I was done hearing it all. So you can imagine my delight when this passage hit my eyes. It was the hope I had been searching for. The answer to my plea with God to answer what was going on in this world. There it was: "there was only wicked all the time."

To be honest, I don't know if I fully understand all that this passage encompasses. And I have been thinking about this passage for over a month now. So, I am no Biblical scholar, but from my studying of it, it seems that in Noah's time, there was no good except for Noah. Noah was righteous, but by all accounts seen in Genesis, all other things were evil and God was so grieved that He created it, that He wiped out everything He had made with a flood, except Noah, his family and two of every creature. The reason that this was encouraging to me is because despite all the evil going on around me every day, THERE IS GOOD. Unlike in Noah's time, there appears to be more good than simply one person. So, when people say we are seeing the darkest days this world has ever known, point them to Genesis 6. That gives me hope that there is still good in this world. And it inspires me to be more like Noah, despite the evil. And it reminds me that above all, no matter the circumstances, God still has me in His hands and Heaven still stands.  Now that is something that makes me want to get out of this tiny little home...and shout from the rooftops.

There is hope...I guess I won't become a recluse after all....

Until next time be blessed....and know there is good in this world...let's try to be a part of it....